Missing you Much / Deanya Randle (Baby girl ) Mom ,
Just wanted to express my feelings during this holiday season; I miss you so much and wish that you were here just to talk to you.
You can never imagine how much you are missed and needed everyday. Things are not the same and never will be, each day goes by with many moments 0f thoughts about you.
We are about to start another year with out you and it doesn't seem any easier. I keep praying and hoping that things will someday get better. I never imagined being with out you I didn't see this coming and I am so angry with myself for not being there to protect you and take care of you during a time when you probably felt alone and scared. I feel so guilty because I was so so close and yet so far. there was never a day when I was young that I felt scared and unprotected because I knew that you had that covered . I can't ever say that I had a moment that was truly unhappy. I know that God sat high and see low and I will keep looking to God for the understanding and serenity that I need in this lifetime. So much has happened good that I hate you missed some of the smiles that Nee Nee has brought the family;I always think about how you would be about your first great grand -baby. I'm sad that you missed your sharing Keta new experiences coming into a phase that you have played for the last 24 years (being a grandmother ); I think she will do just great because Nee Nee came at a time when her void felt so great and she needed those unexpected smiles and those times of realizing how important she really is to the family. You know that I love my shistar and she went through a big big change not having you. Changes have come ,but with each one we always think of you. I know you didn't leave us alone, but, it sure feels that way most of the time. It just seems like my heart presses rewind at a whim and sometimes it brings joy and sometimes it bring pain, but I cherish them all. I love you Mom and miss you much. We just keep on keepin' on.......
your baby girl
When Tomorrow Starts Without Me / Deanya Williams (Daughter) When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see; If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me; I wish so much you wouldn't cry, the way you did today, while thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you, and each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too; But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand, that an angel came and called my name, and took me by the hand, and said my place was ready, in heaven far above, and that I'd have to leave behind, all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye, for all life, I'd always thought, I didn't want to die. I had so much yet to do, it seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you. I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad, I thought of all the love we shared, and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, just even for awhile, I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile. But then I fully realized, that this could never be, for emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things, I might miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow. But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me, from his great golden throne, He said, "This is eternity and all I've promised you".
Today for life on earth's is past, but here it starts anew. I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last, and since each day's the same day, theres no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful, so trusting and so true. Though there were times you did some things, you knew you shouldn't do. But you have been forgiven and now at last your're free. So won't you take my hand and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart, for every time you think of me , I'm right here, in your heart.
A letter to Mom, written on October 12, 2004 / Deanya Williams-Randle (Daughter)
Well mom as I sat here in my office on this day October 12th, 2004. My mind goes back to the chilling and lonesome fact that you are no longer here. God saw fit to take you away on Valentines Day; that day will never be the same again in my heart because my dearest Valentine is gone forever. I remember that morning awaking and being so anxious to come see you, drink coffee with you and bring the gifts that I bought for you. I could already hear you say " Thank you Boo, momma like these" but you seemed so preoccupied and in dismay that you only went through the motions of looking at each of them and wrapping them back up, putting them back into the bag. I remember me and the kids all around you talking and crowding you as usual and took for granted that I would be able to return later that evening to spend more time with you and Keta, that wasn't in God's plans. I did return later, but only to find you leaving me good, I remember saying the Lord's Prayer over and over and over asking him not to do this to us. Momma, I miss you sooooo much and I need to know that everything will be ok, because I have never lived my life without you in any aspect, you were always there. We miss you so much and each day gets harder and harder to bear. I can't stand to pass your house or come down your street so I am planning to relocate. I promise to keep your love and memories alive in everyway. I am dreading the holidays because they will be so void without you and your laughter. You took so much joy, dedication and love in your kids and grandkids being around and there is such a BIG EMPTY space that we must try and fill. I pray each day for more strength, because I feel I was truly robbed of a prized possesion. Please watch over us as you always have.
Love Di
You Were More Than a Mother / Deanya Williams (Baby Girl )
More than Mother
When God set the world in place, when He hung the stars up in space, when He made the land and the sea, then He made you and me.
He sat back and saw all that was good, He saw things to be as they should. Just one more blessing He had in store; He created a mother, but whatever for?
He knew a mother would have a special place to shine His reflection on her child's face. A mother will walk the extra mile just to see her children smile. She'll work her fingers to the bone to make a house into a home.
A mother is there to teach and guide, a mother will stay right by your side. She'll be there through your pain and strife, she'll stay constant in your life.
A mother will lend a helping hand until you have the strength to stand. She'll pick you up when you are down, when you need a friend she'll stick around. A mother is one who listens well, will keep her word; will never tell. A mother never pokes or pries but stands quietly by your side, giving you the strength you need, encouraging you to succeed. A mother is one who can be strong when you need someone to lean on.
You're more than a mother to me; a reflection of Him in your face I see, a love that knows no boundaries. I'm glad that you chose to be all this and more to me. You share a love that knows no end, you're more than my mother, You are my friend.
When I Must Leave You / Bobbie Gross (Sister)
When I must leave you for a little while Please do not grieve and shed wild tears And hug your sorrow to you through the years But start out bravely with a gallant smile And for my sake and in His name Live on and do all things the same.
Feed not your loneliness on empty days But fill each waking hour in useful ways Reach out your hand in comfort and in cheer And I in turn will comfort you and hold you near And never never be afraid to die For I am waiting for you in the sky!
Sadly Hollow / Deanya Williams (Baby Girl )
"Sadly Hollow" Prayer of the Makah Indians
Do not stand by my grave and weep. I am not there...I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am a diamond glint on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awake in the morning hush, I am the swift uplifting rush, Of quiet birds in circling flight. I am the soft star shine at night Do not stand by my grave and cry.. I am not there...I did not die.
To the children......... / Dianne Tryon-Malbrough (friend)
Being an only child, whose parents are deceased, I can truly understand what you are feeling. It has been such a short time since your mother left you......but I promise you--it will get easier. You will never forget, but later you will smile at the thought of her. Tears will appear sometime, but the good memories will certainly dry them up. I think of my parents often, but when I look around and see what has become of this world, and how greed, selfishness, crime, pain, suffering, disease, homosexuality and the fallen economy etc., is destroying this beautiful place that God has provided us, I think to myself--I sure wouldn't want my parents to endure all this--especially as sick as they were. I believe God doesn't want that for his special people...and surely your mother was a special person.
My love to all of you, Dianne Tryon Malbrough
Today I Shall Not Weep / Keta, Bro, Di, Ryan, CoCo, Otis, Mike, Brit, Reggi ,Ms. B, Kim, Jas, Chelsea, Net (The Kids )
Today We Shall Not Weep
One day Mother's death will be quite alright with me, In months past I have wept and mourned, but I know I will be set free; For lately somethings happened, and it strangely gave me peace, This grieving that has bound my heart will soon give sweet release.
For it was only 4 years ago that her mother passed away, Her heart belonged to us and God, and on that final day Her guardian angel took her hand, and said, "I think you know, Pamp and Edna are waiting, madam, it's time for us to go...
"A mighty celebration, will be held on this very date, And you're the guest of honor, June, it's best we not be late! For God Himself has planned it thus, and therefore it shall be, Ere earth was formed this date was writ by Heavenly decree!"
So Mommy took Mammy's hand and flew to Jesus' side, And loved ones stood beside the Lord, their arms held open wide; And in that Land where there's no pain, no sickness and no sin, God's laughter shook the heavens! "Let the partying begin!"
The day of Mother's death-date, my heart will fill with joy, My soul will find serenity which nothing can destroy; The Most High God is ever nigh, He has no need of sleep, And Mother's wrapped in her parent's arms... today I shall not weep.
Always Mother / Laketa Banks (Daughter)
You were my fairy tale princess So much larger than life, You were my Angel and my witness Through all my pain and strife.
At times you made me angry Great words I would proclaim, How someday you'd be sorry You were the one to blame.
But when I needed comforting You always had the time, Your words were more soothing Than days of childhood sublime.
Now only distance holds us apart The boundaries have no end, I'll hold on to the memories in my heart You're my Mother, my best friend.
ALWAY's/ Irma Mendes (Cousin)
June you are always on my mind... I miss you, and our sometimes 1 hour phone calls and sometimes only one minute, it all depended on which GrandBaby you were dropping off or picking up. YOU were an EXTRORDINARY Mom and Grandmother ..always your CUZ Irma